Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Neither? Both? Shy?
I’m reading about“Ambiverts”. I’ve always felt a binary introvert-extrovert definition doesn’t
really work for most people. Most things in life are not binary – I think of
almost everything as spectrum-based, from gender to personality to race to mental
health. Of course, on any spectrum there can be a tipping-point or marker
beyond which a person can identify themselves as, say, male. Or a medical diagnosis
can be made. But there’s a whole, often fluid, space between “0” and “1”. A composer friend said that, professionally, she uses a male personality (with her own
feminine name/identity). As a lady drummer, sometimes I’ve used a traditionally-masculine persona, stance, mode
of speech and clothing, to feel more comfortable performing in public.
What does
all this wittering have to do with the Long Trail hike? Well, I think the
hike-tour combines introversion/solitude (practice, training, walking) and
extraversion (performance, collaboration and connection with composers and
audiences). As a soloist, there’s sharp contrast between days shut in the
practice-room and walking out on stage, vulnerable, to share something. The Bulletproof Musician discusses how shyness interacts with performance.
Myers-Briggs
calls me INFJ, but the Ambivert label fits me better. My shyness score:
52/65 (very shy). But I’ve developed what TBM calls “positive coping styles” in performance – focusing on the moment and the task. Watching the
score-map. Being present – this didn’t come naturally, or quickly. I hope the LT
will help sharpen this focus-presence, and help me find a way to turn the
discomfort of shyness into something positive in performance. Kristeen Young says “comfort is never a
goal”:
